tale #44

“You did what with Lisa this weekend?”  Jaycee said in an astounded voice.  She was in her usual place, leaning against the doorframe of my office.

“Yoga,” I repeated for the third time.  “I did yoga with Lisa.  She’s teaching a class for the Jesuit volunteers.  I tagged along.”

Jaycee looked at me with suspicion.  “Lisa teaches yoga?” she asked in a disbelieving tone.

I nodded.  “Father Steve arranged it.”

“But, she’s from Arkansas.”  Jaycee exhaled in exasperation.

I shrugged.

“Honestly, you can’t turn around without stumbling over a crunchy little earth muffin these day.  No place is sacred.”  Jaycee shook her head.  “I’m sorry.  I would never have knowingly saddled you with someone like that.”

“It’s just yoga,” I said mildly.

“Oh sure, it starts with just yoga.” Jaycee looked at me sternly.  For a moment, she reminded of Disco Dannenberg.  “Next thing you know, it’s peace signs and community gardens and you can kiss your beloved Pringles goodbye.  Gin and Tonics at Rumors turns into whole wheat and mango smoothies.”

I looked up.  “They have smoothies on island?”  I love smoothies.

Jaycee sighed.  “You’re hopeless.”  She pushed off from the doorframe.  “I just hope you do a better job screening the next person than I did with Lisa.  You might want to say ‘no hippies’ in the ad.”  She started down the hall.

I smiled.  Sometimes Jaycee was such a stereotypical New Yorker.  Wait.  What next person?  What ad?  An alarm went off in my head.  I flew out of my chair and down the hall after Jaycee.  “What ad?”  I followed her into her office.  She sat down behind her desk, without answering my question.  “What ad?”

“The ad you place to hire the next attorney, when I leave.”  Jaycee scowled at me.  “What other ad is there?”

I sat down in the chair in front of her desk.  “When you leave?”

Jaycee sighed with fake patience.  “Well yes.  My contract is up next month.”

Panic started to set in.  “And you’re thinking of leaving?  Jaycee, that’s crazy talk.”  I took a breath and thought for a moment.  “You’ll just have to extend your contract.  I’m sure Aamil wouldn’t mind.  He likes you.”

Jaycee shook her head sadly.  “Kelly can’t get any more leave from her job in the states.  We have to go back.”

There was a buzzing in my head and my lungs wouldn’t quite fill with air.

“Look on the bright side,” Jaycee said.  “You’ll be chief of litigation.  You never have to go to Chuuk again.  You can send someone else.”  She grinned.  “Someone that annoys you.”

I got up and walked slowly back to my office.  The buzzing stopped, but my stomach felt tight.  I couldn’t imagine working here without Jaycee.  Or the island without her, for that matter.  And without Kelly.  I wondered what kind of response I would get to an ad that read “wanted – pushy lesbian lawyer with spectacular partner.  New York accent optional.”   A minute later, I was back in Jaycee’s office.  “Where do I place this ad?”

Jaycee looked up from her desk.  “Uh huh, find out you’re going to be in charge, and all of a sudden you’re chomping at the bit.”

“And what do you mean someone that annoys me?  You sent me to Chuuk constantly.”  Maybe I wasn’t going to miss her that much.

“Now you’re catching on.”  She smiled at me.  “You can advertise in the Federal Journal.  They have a section for international employment.  You can also place an ad in the American Bar Association journal, but they’re a little pricy.”

I had answered an announcement I had seen posted on the California District Attorney Association website.  I wondered now how it got there.  “How did you find Lisa?”

“The way everything out here is done,” Jaycee said.  “A friend of mine from law school knew her and thought she might be interested.”  She stood up from behind her desk.  “We can talk about it on the way home.  I promised Kelly I’d be home early.”

That suited me.  Steve was back on island and we had plans for dinner.  I moved towards the doorway.  I turned and surveyed the office.  It was larger than mine.  Maybe I would move in here when I became chief.  Jaycee raised her eyebrow at me.  I turned back to the door.  “I’ll get my gear.”

A taxi cab was waiting at the back door of the office.  It was white with yellow lettering.  Across the trunk it said “Best cab service on island.”  In fact, it was the only cab service on island.  Some Chinese looking lettering adorned each passenger door.  That Chinese looking writing had been the subject of much discussion on numerous Friday nights at Rumors.  Over several rounds of drinks, it had been decided that it was either traditional Chinese or Mandarin and said either, “Caveat Emptor” or “Eat at Joes.”

A round faced man in his mid twenties stood leaning against the driver’s door, dressed in the company uniform for Joseph Norman Taxi Service, a khaki shirt, blue shorts and zories.  They had been showing up everywhere, since I had given Norman Norman the green dragon vase to return to the President.  This same driver had been outside my apartment when I left for work this morning.

He tipped an imaginary hat to us as we came out the door.  “Is one of you ladies Austen Clark?”

I raised my hand.  “That’s still me.”

He smiled.  He had a full mouth of very white teeth.  “Can I take you somewhere?  Courtesy.”  He opened the passenger door.  “That means no charge,” he added.

I smiled back.  “Thanks.  I still have my car.”

A mischievous look came over Jaycee’s face.  “I could use a ride,” she said.  She jerked her thumb in my direction.  “I’m her boss.”

The taxi driver looked surprised.  He paused and then smiled again.  “Alright lady.  Where do you want to go?”

“Rumors please,” Jaycee said innocently.

I watched as the poor man began calculating the trouble he would be in for refusing to drive a friend of mine versus the trouble he would be in for taking a customer to Rumors rather than the Jungle.  The struggle played out on his face.  Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer.  “Jaycee,” I prompted.

“Oh alright,” Jaycee said.  She turned to the driver.  “I’m just messing with you.  Austen is driving me home.”

A look of immense relief flooded the man’s face.  “Thank you.”

Jaycee started towards my car, then turned back.  “I live behind the telecom building.  I’ll need a ride to work.  You can pick me up at 8:00 tomorrow morning.”

The driver looked at me and I nodded.  “Yes, ma’am” he said to Jaycee.

We watched as the driver got into his cab and pulled out of the parking lot.

I turned to Jaycee.  “That wasn’t kind.”  Father Steve said the three questions you should ask yourself before saying something are, is it true, is it necessary and is it kind.

Jaycee shrugged.  “No,” she admitted.  “But it was fun.”

I shook my head at her.

She sighed as she stood by the passenger door of my car.  “There is so much to teach you and so little time.”

I looked around the parking lot.  Despite the early hour, it was nearly empty.  “Speaking of teaching,” I said.  I walked around to the passenger door and placed the keys in Jaycee’s hand.  “I think it’s time you had a driving lesson.”

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